Up to this day, I still believe that there is no definite definition of emotions and time. What I read through books are just perspectives on how one can define. Like how Namjoon’s “I love you more than love” or how Jungkook saw sadness helps you to appreciate happiness.
An eternity can be one lifetime to someone and one second to another. And 8 years can be pretty long but also can be so short. We define things as to how we see and feel them. We give meaning to things based on how important we perceived them. And I think that’s beautiful because there can never be wrong emotions and time — thank you for helping me realize it.
You came to me, not as a miracle, but a constant reminder. In the midst of battling on my own, I found you. A constant reminder of all the things I wanted and needed. A constant reminder of how it felt like to be human. You’re not my miracle because I don’t have luck with miracles. You’re a choice I made and I’d be choosing it in every lifetime.
You are my first cherry blossom, the reason I re-discover myself. I didn’t have much to change but there’s so much I figured out. People might think it’s too much for someone to value an artist this way, but like how I believe that there is no definite definition of things, this is how I viewed you, this is how we see you.
It’s funny because I thought I didn’t need a reminder until I met you seven and realize that there’s so much I needed to be reminded of. You are my first cherry blossom that I don’t want to wither. The first blossom of flowers are always the prettiest, some might miss it, and some wait for it as expected. And I think that’s the beauty of the first cherry blossoms — we can expect for them to bloom on the first day of spring but we are never sure when they’re coming exactly. But when they do, the place will be filled with its beauty. And that’s exactly who you are to me — the first cherry blossom of my spring where all good things begin.
And as the color of my life slowly changes, you’d be the last leaf to fall. So if I lose myself in the process, I’d be reminded of it all. For someone who gets lost in translation, I needed my first bloom to be my last fall. I am not afraid to be vulnerable because even if the season changes, I know for sure that mine will come back around — like spring and autumn. The last leaf of autumn will always be the strongest to me because while all the leaves started to shatter, it kept hanging until the end sometimes, even until winter. It witnesses how the season has changed. You guys are my last autumn leaf, the strongest of them all that transitions me.
This road might take us to a place where we least expected. It might take us somewhere we envisioned but like the first cherry blossom and last autumn leaf, it doesn’t matter where bloom or where we fall, what matters is we have each other through it all.
Happy 8th Anniversary.
